When adult children have outstayed their welcome (and you want them out)

• Do you have an adult child who never left home?

• Do you have an adult child who recently moved back in, and now won’t leave?

• Do you have an adult child living with you who is aggressive, abusive or just overstayed their welcome?

• Do you want your home to yourself again?

If you answered ‘yes’ to any of these questions and want to know whether you can get your adult children out of the house, this article is for you.

This article is based on legislation and processes in New South Wales. Other states and territories may have similar provisions, so contact a local legal support service for advice and support through this process. See the helpful links at the end of the article.

Is it possible to remove your adult children from the family home? The short answer is: yes, it’s certainly possible, and your options depend on the particular circumstances. The first step is to assess your safety.

Are you safe?

If you’re living in a situation where you’re feeling unsafe due to violence or threats of violence, help is available.

It is important to state here that violence doesn’t necessarily need to be physical. It can also look like threats, coercive behaviour, verbal abuse, psychological abuse and neglect.

While we all care about our children and families, anything that makes you feel uncomfortable and unsafe in your own home is not okay. You do not have to put up with it.

If this is your experience, contact the police and explain your situation to them. They can assist you in taking out an Apprehended Domestic Violence Order (ADVO). This means the person causing the abuse would not be able to threaten you, harass you or intimidate you.

If you want to make sure your adult child moves out of the house, you should ask for additional conditions called ‘exclusion orders’ to be added to the ADVO. These conditions mean that the adult child is not allowed to live with you.

Or, if you don’t want them contacting you or coming within a certain distance of you, you can ask for the order to specify that there is no contact.

An ADVO itself will not go on your child’s criminal record. However, if they breach the ADVO in any way, you can call the police. The adult childe arrested and could potentially face prison time.

What if there aren’t enough grounds for an ADVO?

In some situations, elder abuse may be present – through verbal or psychological abuse, for example – but it may not meet the threshold for the police to take out an ADVO. Or, you may be finding it difficult to go to the police to talk about your children or family. If that’s the case, it’s okay: other options are available.

First, we need to understand the type of living situation you find yourself in.

Are they paying rent (so, they are a tenant)?

a. Yes, they are.

If your child entered into a formal or informal lease agreement when they moved back in with you and they have been paying you rent to remain living at home, there are relatively straightforward legal options available. Family members are no different to any other unwanted tenant, and you can evict them through the NSW Civil and Administrative Tribunal (NCAT).

If asking them to leave hasn’t worked, consider whether they have breached any of the terms of the initial rental agreement. If they have, or if there is another reasonable reason (as outlined in the Residential Tenancies Act 2010) to terminate the agreement, you can issue them with a written termination notice.

This notice must include a date by which your child must vacate. If they do not leave by that date, you can then take the matter to NCAT, and ultimately your child can be forcibly removed by the Sheriff.

For more information on evicting tenants, visit on the Legal Aid NSW website and look for the Tenancy section.

No, they aren’t paying rent.

This is the more common situation. It either involves a child who never left the home (and never paid rent) or a child who has moved back in and has not attempted to contribute anything towards rent or bills.

Presumably, asking them to leave hasn’t worked, you’re fed up and you want your home and peace back.

As the owner or main occupant of your home, you have every right to decide who does and does not come into your home and who can stay.

You can make this happen by putting your request to leave in writing and issuing them what’s known as a ‘Notice to vacate’ letter. Drawing on section 4 of the Inclosed Lands Protection Act 1901 (NSW), the letter creates a trespass. This means that as the owner or main occupant of your home, you are asking the person to leave and telling them that if they don’t leave within a certain number of days, they will be trespassing.

You can give them as few, or as many, days as you like, and if they have not left by the specified date, you can then contact police. In that situation, police have the power to move the family member on from the property without needing to arrest them.

While you can speak to a lawyer about the preparation of the letter, you do not have to. You can find templates for the letter and further information on our Adult children living at home webpage.

I would recommend contacting your local police station when you decide to issue the letter. Give the police a copy of the letter and let them know the date your child must be out of your home. This way, if you need to ask police to move your child on, the officers will know what the request relates to.

If the ‘Notice to vacate’ letter has not successfully resolved the matter, you can take the matter further. You can apply to the Supreme Court for an injunction that orders your child to stop trespassing on your property. If you decide to go down this path, seek legal advice.

Your home – your rights

A family member saying, ‘It’s my home too, I’ve lived here my whole life!’ does not mean they are entitled to stay in the property.

If they want to argue about their legal rights to the property, they can do that from outside the home. And if they’re not contributing anything to the home, they don’t have the rights they think they do.

It’s your home and you deserve to feel at peace there. While you may love your children and want to help them, you do not owe them anything that costs you your peace of mind, health or safety.

Everyone deserves respect. If you believe you are not being respected, help is available.

In New South Wales, contact Law Access on 1300 888 529 if you need legal advice about your situation. They can put you through to Legal Aid NSW’s Elder Abuse Service.

Advice and support other than in New South Wales

• ACT – Legal Aid ACT’s Older Persons ACT Legal Service (OPALS) (advice and advocacy) and Do you have an adult child living at home? (factsheet)

• Northern Territory – Darwin Community Legal Service’s Seniors’ Rights Service (advice and advocacy)

• Queensland – Caxton Legal Centre’s Seniors Legal and Support Service (advice and advocacy)

• South Australia – Legal Services Commission South Australia? Aged Rights Advocacy Service?

• Tasmania – Relationships Australia Tasmania’s Elder Relationship Service (advice and counselling)

• Victoria – Seniors Rights Victoria, Adult children at home (webpage) and seniors’ helpline (phone 1300 368 821)

• Western Australia – Legal Aid Western Australia’s Elder Rights WA service (advice and advocacy)

Your state or territory’s civil and administrative tribunal may be able to advise on eviction procedures if your adult child is a tenant.

Podcast suggestion - Not Afraid: The story of an elder abuse survivor

Disclaimer: The information provided on this website is not a substitute for individual legal advice.

Words by Sasha Kisrwani, solicitor, Legal Aid NSW Elder Abuse Service